Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Does Love really change you? Or is it meant to...

Does love or being with another person really change you?

I've always love the saying that "You not only love the person that you're with, but you love who you are being with that person". So true, you want someone that brings out the best in you.

If you've always projected the image of someone strong, knows what he/she wants, career minded, do people tend to assume that you're probably the dominant one in the relationship? Comments like "I can't see you being happy to be a domesticated person, cooking and everything".

To a lot of people, you would still be maintaining a lot of the main characteristics of your personality. Hence, if you're the softer personality kind, you are more of a person who just wants someone to take care of you and make most of the decisions?

If that is the case, what about those who always project someone tough and driven at work? This is especially so for the females. I would think that if you always have to be tough and strong at work just to advance in your career, a lot of us would just want to be able to relax and let someone else take care of things.

I have a friend who is the cheery, a little loud and full of energy type. She always projects an image of someone who knows what she wants and knows where she is and need to be. Strong but not dominant personality, she can't imagine herself not working nor being the domesticated kind where the only things stimulating your mind is the household chores and taking care of the kids. You would imagine that when she is in love, she would stay the same. However, that particular someone who appeared in her life seems to have changed her. She is still the same person who knows what she wants and where she needs to be but her demeanor has changed. She has become softer, talks in a gentle tone instead of the animated one that we're used to. She can see herself being with this person and being really happy being a domesticated person. It wasn't a conscious change either, she said that it just came naturally.

Has love really change her? or has it just allowed that side of her to come out? Things with that person did not last and after a few months, she was back to what we know. She says that she has never felt like that about any other person before, and to date, has yet to find someone else who makes her feel that way.

Perhaps it's rare, to meet that special someone who you find changing some of your beliefs. Emotions that deep is probably like finding a rare diamond or only what you see in the movies.

I believe that it can happen, and what she had, the feelings so deep, the experience so rare, would not happen to everyone.

The same questions still lingers...

Is love meant to change you? Is it perhaps wrong to be with someone who changes your personality (perhaps to be more accurate, it should be said that it is more of a change in perception)? Many would argue that you should still be who you are, and that you're probably hiding a part of your personality being with that person and that is not right. Shouldn't we be looking for someone with similar perceptions to us? or how can it last if we are so different?

Is that really so? can't it be that you perhaps have never been able or never even knew that you had that side in you?

Love seems to bring out many different facets of us and in different ways. In the end, it is still a mystery...

1 comment:

Katherine said...

I will comment even through you're on the bed beside me!
*tee hee*

Cute entry and broadly speaking I agree - love, not that I really know, but my belief is that being with someone you love would bring out something different in you. A side that doesn't normally come out, or that needed encouragement to bloom...
You may find yourself growing in a different direction, appreciating something else, seeing the world differently. That doesn't have to be a bad thing: it is natural that your experiences and the people you encounter make an impression on you.