Jaded

Some enter this world, full of hope and wonder
While others are affected by grim and despair

Passages of time flows by
Changing our views and perspectives

Life becomes weary
No longer is there wonder of what life brings
Instead, it is of what else can life hit you with
Has she now become jaded........

落花有意 流水无情

I recently read this in an email, ‘落花有意，流水无情’.

I have always admired the articulation of the Chinese language and how by combining a few words into a verse, it can have a very different and deep meaning.

Some verses like this evoke a sense of poetry and romanticism.

My initial interpretation of this was of the flower petals (which I took to mean the female) having the intention, but the flowing water (meaning the male) does not reciprocate. This verse is now mainly used to describe the love relationship.

Of course, I wanted to reply to my friend saying “落花无意” as we were chatting about someone we know. That someone happens to be a female and was not the one that has any intentions.

Before I hit send on my reply, I did a bit of digging online to see if my interpretation was accurate.

I found this, “shedding petals, the waterside flower pines for love, while the heartless brook babbles on unrequited love” (http://www.zdic.net/cd/ci/12/ZdicE8Zdic90ZdicBD199488.htm)

My other source was of course my older sibling, not sure where my sister got this but that was what I got the next day – “最初说的是禅理，而现在更多的用来描述情感。落花遇见流水，实属天意，而流水不恋落花，亦是无奈，在人生旅途上有多少这样的萍水相逢、一见钟情、转瞬即逝而又经久难忘的一厢恋情……构成了一幕幕“落花有意,流水无情”的戏剧性场景。但多情总被无情恼,那无情的风景，总让人牵怀.”

Amazing! How 8 words can be used to mean so much about our life when it comes to love. How true that if you asks any singles, many are still searching for someone but the same comment ring in many of them, “ they know people who are interested in them, but those are not who they are interested in, where is that person they are looking for?”. Which leads to the sentiment of 但多情总被无情恼,那无情的风景，总让人牵怀= having more love/affections creates more woe than none, but being in a loveless state makes people cherish for it.

I do ponder, what do you think?

Hurt

A single tear she shed for you, tears that shed for no one else before
You are hurt, lost in a world of frustration
You begin to wonder
Is there no light at the end?

Self pity is not the way
She's hurting too, it's not an easy choice
Reality hits you at the weakest point
Life is never fair

Is this how it ends
Strangers among friends
Not a smile, not a word, not even a nod
Does the journey not mean anything to you...

When friends become true friends...

As some of you may know, I currently have 3 more weeks left in Sydney before I move to the London.

I just had a farewell dinner with some of my friends and as I looked around the table of 19, all these people were friends that I knew while working. A thought crept into my mind about what the meaning of friends truly is.

Good friends to me are those that you meet or hang out with all the time. Or even not so, at least you called or chat with each other regularly and know what is happening in each other's lives. Those that are there to always lend a helping hand in need as well.

However, my perception seems to be changing now, more so after tonight's dinner. With my move to Sydney a few years ago, I had to let go of all my high school and uni friends and come on my own to Sydney to work.

These workmates sitting at the table with me having dinner have now become my friends. I am extremely grateful that they have come, especially when it was at short notice. These are the same people that I don't get to talk to regularly or that we even hang out regularly at all. Yet, somehow, whenever there is a function or event, they definitely turn up.

We may not know too much about each other's past and external circle of friends that we all have, and yet there is a bond where we share parts of our private and social lives. We don't talk much about things that trouble us or family/friends problems. However, we can look at each other and there is a confirmation that we are more than just workmates and help is there when needed.

I guess that maybe I am quite a private person and don't do a lot of confiding to people. Therefore, I wouldn't bet an eyelid if the same people consider me as "someone I know from work".IT just amazes me how even though they may not know much about my personal life but they still regard me as special to them.

I find myself now receiving thoughtful birthday and farewell presents that is totally unexpected. I am eternally grateful for their friendships but it just amazes me how my perception of a good friend has drastically changed from even just 5 years ago.

Appreciation

I received an unexpected email today. It was from a work mate who I've become really close to. She send out an email to a few of us and was telling each and everyone of us how appreciative she is.

That really made my day and was a nice surprise to finish the work day. Especially as I had to travel far to get to my client this week. A total travel time of 3.5 hours and my ipod battery died on me in the morning just when I left my house. I left the ipod on and it must have drained all its battery blasting music in the night. My bus arrived 10 minutes late which caused me to miss the train I need to catch as well. Amazing how when you need everything to run on time like clockwork and it doesn't.



Her email got me thinking...

1. Who says that you can't be good friends with people that you've met at work. Although they may not know anything about you or how you were like when you were a kid, but the ones who click and are of the same kindred spirits just seems to be the exception. I've met some people whom I'm glad that they have entered into my life.

2. We don't tell or show the friends and family we have how appreciated or loved they are. Yes, we tend to only say and pick on the bad stuff sometimes with our boyfriends/girlfriends, mom, dad, brothers and sisters. But we don't tell them equally how thankful we are for times when they just drop everything and help us or do little stuff or sometimes be our slaves for the day.

3. We don't catch up enough or tell our friends how important their friendship is. I have many friends overseas whom I treasure their friendship but with our busy lives and distance between us, I probably have not talked to some of them in months or years but they are still very important to me. More so sometimes than the friends I meet often. We lose out on what is happening in their lives and they in ours.

To the people who send me spam email or mass emails saying good things, I somehow don't think that that is as sincere though. I'm not sure if they just like reading and forwarding emails or do they really mean it. Especially if they do it on a regular basis like everyday. I suppose to other side of the coin is that they thought of you when they are forwarding those emails.



We all seem to be so time poor nowadays that even emails and texts are not helping us to stay in touch enough with people we love and treasure.

Does Love really change you? Or is it meant to...

Does love or being with another person really change you?

I've always love the saying that "You not only love the person that you're with, but you love who you are being with that person". So true, you want someone that brings out the best in you.

If you've always projected the image of someone strong, knows what he/she wants, career minded, do people tend to assume that you're probably the dominant one in the relationship? Comments like "I can't see you being happy to be a domesticated person, cooking and everything".

To a lot of people, you would still be maintaining a lot of the main characteristics of your personality. Hence, if you're the softer personality kind, you are more of a person who just wants someone to take care of you and make most of the decisions?

If that is the case, what about those who always project someone tough and driven at work? This is especially so for the females. I would think that if you always have to be tough and strong at work just to advance in your career, a lot of us would just want to be able to relax and let someone else take care of things.

I have a friend who is the cheery, a little loud and full of energy type. She always projects an image of someone who knows what she wants and knows where she is and need to be. Strong but not dominant personality, she can't imagine herself not working nor being the domesticated kind where the only things stimulating your mind is the household chores and taking care of the kids. You would imagine that when she is in love, she would stay the same. However, that particular someone who appeared in her life seems to have changed her. She is still the same person who knows what she wants and where she needs to be but her demeanor has changed. She has become softer, talks in a gentle tone instead of the animated one that we're used to. She can see herself being with this person and being really happy being a domesticated person. It wasn't a conscious change either, she said that it just came naturally.

Has love really change her? or has it just allowed that side of her to come out? Things with that person did not last and after a few months, she was back to what we know. She says that she has never felt like that about any other person before, and to date, has yet to find someone else who makes her feel that way.

Perhaps it's rare, to meet that special someone who you find changing some of your beliefs. Emotions that deep is probably like finding a rare diamond or only what you see in the movies.

I believe that it can happen, and what she had, the feelings so deep, the experience so rare, would not happen to everyone.

The same questions still lingers...

Is love meant to change you? Is it perhaps wrong to be with someone who changes your personality (perhaps to be more accurate, it should be said that it is more of a change in perception)? Many would argue that you should still be who you are, and that you're probably hiding a part of your personality being with that person and that is not right. Shouldn't we be looking for someone with similar perceptions to us? or how can it last if we are so different?

Is that really so? can't it be that you perhaps have never been able or never even knew that you had that side in you?

Love seems to bring out many different facets of us and in different ways. In the end, it is still a mystery...